Dead End Game
by Nalanzu
Summary: Bakuryu Sentai Abaranger: Follows events of Peace. Nakadai's twisted games take their toll on Ryouga; is this the catalyst which finally breaks the Abare team apart? Warnings: Yaoi, angst, severely depressed Ryouga yes, this merits a warning


This is meant to stand as a sequel to "Peace", although it can stand on its own as well.  Both stories observe canon events up through the end of Bakuryu Sentai Abaranger episode 33 (Abare Senshi o Wasurenai), where they then diverge from continuity and assume Asuka did indeed succeed in committing suicide.  Jeanne, however, does survive in this continuity, as in canon continuity, as Mahoro.  

One more note: This was written under the influence of Offspring, specifically the song "Vultures".  Those lyrics are in italics.  The paragraphs within these symbols are flashback sequences. 

Enjoy!

* * *

Intro: Sixty-five million years ago, a meteor crashed into Earth and separated it into two separate worlds.  In one world, dinosaurs survived and evolved alongside man.  This world – Dino Earth – came under attack by the Evorian, a race of demons, and it was subdued.  In a last desperate bid for freedom – and to stop the Evorian from conquering both worlds – Dino Earth sent its last remaining warrior to Another Earth to continue the resistance movement. 

This warrior – Asuka, Abareblack – found companions who were able to wield the same power as he himself and fight against the Evorian.  They called themselves Abarangers – Hakua Ryouga as Abared, Sanjou Yukito as Abareblue, and Ranru Itsuki as Abareyellow.  

Unfortunately, along with Asuka and the Evorian, a third power made its way to Another Earth.  This power was the flawed prototype of the Abarangers' own power.  It was inherently unstable, and carried with it the risk of an explosion with a blast radius large enough to swallow Tokyo itself.  This power was claimed and mastered by a madman.  Nakadai Mikoto called himself Abarekiller and used his power to wreak havoc upon the Abarangers.

In particular, Abarekiller focused his energy on Hakua Ryouga, fascinated by Ryouga's ability to steadfastly believe in humanity.  In time, Abarekiller took over leadership of the Evorian, an event which was closely followed by – but not entirely related to – Asuka's death at his own hands.

These occurrences were heavy blows for all the Abarangers, but for Ryouga in particular.  Still, the war continues…

Now I could lie by your side 

Nakadai's profile looked almost serene in the faint illumination from the window, eyes closed, quietly asleep.  A light sheen of sweat from … before … still glistened on his bare skin, catching the light and reflecting it accusingly back.

Barely daring to breathe, Hakua Ryouga moved slowly towards the edge of the bed, trying to make as little noise as possible.  He'd gotten one foot on the floor when a sudden bruising grip on his wrist nearly made him cry out in pain.  He bit the sound  back at the last possible second and looked almost guiltily back.

Nakadai's eyes glittered, face cold and very much awake.  "Where do you think you're going?"

All serrated for you 

"Nowhere," Ryouga whispered.  Nakadai let go and he lay back down.  His now bare wrist felt colder than it should have, the comforting presence of the Bakuryu replaced with an aching void.  _How did this happen?_  Nakadai – Abarekiller – was his enemy.  Nakadai led the Evorian.  He wanted nothing more than to cause pain for his own amusement.  It was all a game to him, one that would end when the his suit finally destabilized and destroyed the city along with Nakadai himself.  _Why do I keep coming back?_

Nakadai pulled him uncomfortably close, wrapping his limbs around Ryouga and burying his face in the back of Ryouga's neck.  _Mai is waiting for me._  Nakadai sighed contentedly, and his grip slowly loosened.  Although Ryouga was certain that the other man was now truly and deeply asleep, he remained within Nakadai's grasp.

Down below cancer grows 

Weapons clashed, sending sparks in a beautiful rain across the battlefield.  Ryouga stumbled and lost his grip, only to find himself flying backwards as he failed to block Abarekiller's next attack.  He twisted in midair, turning the descent into a controlled tumble and came up not only on his feet but within reach of his blaster.  Before he could get his hands on it, a vicious kick to his face sent him reeling again.  

"You can do better than that."  Abarekiller's voice sounded bored.

Ryouga responded by silently rushing straight for Abarekiller.  It was suicidal enough – and uncharacteristic enough – to startle Abarekiller into stepping back long enough for Ryouga to get his hands on his blaster.  He brought it up, and hesitated.  "I don't want to fight you."

Abarekiller had _hurt_ Ryouga.  Time and time again, he'd tried to break Ryouga down, destroy his beliefs, his humanity, his faith that what was right would triumph.  And although Ryouga had begun to feel that Abarekiller could not be saved, he still didn't want to fight him.  Every moment Nakadai spent in the suit increased the possibility of its destabilization and the subsequent destruction of Tokyo.  Ryouga was determined to prevent that eventuality at any cost.

Weeping waits inside you too 

"Ryouga?  Where were you last night?"  Emiri peered up at him as if she could see right through his skull into his polluted thoughts.

He turned away.  "Nowhere."

"Ryouga –"

He walked up to the  bathroom without acknowledging her and shut the door behind him.  With the water of the shower acting as a shield, he dropped to the floor, shivering, trying to gather enough strength to get through the day.  After a few moments, he forced himself back up again and undressed.  The clothes went into a heap on the floor, to be washed as soon as possible.  He wished he could burn them.

Now all our rage begs a stage 

 Abarekiller hit the ground hard, suit shimmering and vanishing.  Blood smeared one side of his face, bright against the starkly pale skin.  Ryouga's breath caught.  He didn't think he'd hit Abarekiller with enough force to cause so much damage.  He approached slowly, blaster held out in front of him.

"Are you all right?"  It was a ridiculous question, but he had to ask.

Nakadai didn't respond at all.  He didn't even look as if he were breathing.  Ryouga edged around to where he could see Nakadai's face clearly, but there was absolutely no sign of consciousness.

Ryouga settled into a crouch a few feet out of Nakadai's reach, holding his blaster trained on the other man, and waited.  The blood on Nakadai's face dried slowly, but Nakadai didn't move.  Ryouga began to think that Nakadai really was hurt, despite the other man's past deceptions.  He moved closer, and nudged Nakadai with the toe of his boot.

It's a waste of time though 

The red Tyrannosaurus uniform shirt hung in the closet.  Ryouga barely glanced at it.  Once he was dressed, he slipped out again and shoved the bundle of dirty clothes into the washing machine.  

"I think that's enough soap."

Ranru's voice sounded amused on the surface, but Ryouga jumped as if he'd been burned.  "Uh…" He couldn't think of a single thing to say, sure that she would know exactly what had happened.  He couldn't let his teammates know what was happening with Nakadai.  He couldn't.

Ranru smiled and took the soap away.  "Here."  She added more clothes, casually, and closed the machine.  Ryouga nearly breathed a sigh of relief, but Ranru turned around as she seemed about to walk out the door and gave him a searching look.  "Are you all right?"

Again, Ryouga was struck dumb.  "I…"

"You look terrible."  She put a hand on his forehead.  "You don't feel warm, though.  Did you have a rough night?"

She had to be playing with him.  Why else would she ask such a question?  He knocked her hand away.  "I'm fine!"

Ranru looked hurt, but she smiled at him anyway.  "It's all right, Ryouga.  Emiri told me you were out late.  You don't need to stand guard for us, you know."  She reached out again and tugged on his shoulder.  "Go get some sleep."

Ryouga didn't see her eyes become sad as he nodded abruptly and turned away.

And your style seems worthwhile 

Nakadai's response was immediate and violent, but it was not the response Ryouga had been expecting.  Instead of reaching for a weapon or smashing his fist into Ryouga's face, Nakadai writhed in obvious pain and choked out blood.  After a few seconds, he lay still again, twisted around on his side.

Ryouga's eyes widened.  He really was hurt, then, and not just playing around.  He deactivated the change and dropped to his knees.  He knew basic first aid, but that was all.  Blood seeped from between Nakadai's fingers, so Ryouga gently applied pressure, keeping his hand over Nakadai's, and carefully moved Nakadai until he could see the wound.

Nakadai still didn't show any sign of waking, and Ryouga began to worry that he had done serious damage.  It wasn't as if he'd had any choice, but he still had no desire to harm another human being.  As he tried to pry Nakadai's hand away, the other man went suddenly and completely limp.  

"Oh, no."  Ryouga bent over Nakadai, trying to find a heartbeat, breathing, any sign of life.  In the second he was off-balance, Nakadai's arm shot out and grabbed him in a vise-like grip.  Something sharp dug into the skin of Ryouga's neck, breaking the skin as he tried to pull away.  Nakadai smirked and sat up in one fluid movement.  Ryouga wasn't sure how, but Nakadai twisted his legs around Ryouga and Ryouga ended up almost in the other man's lap, completely immobilized.

Nakadai still had one hand free.  He trailed it along Ryouga's cheek, lingering over a fresh bruise and an older cut.  "Does this cause you pain?" he asked softly.  Before Ryouga could blink, Nakadai jerked him in closer and kissed him hard on the mouth.  Ryouga tried to pull away, but Nakadai only moved with him, and the movement meant that Ryouga ended up on his back in the dirt with Nakadai on top of him.  Ryouga gasped and tried to tell Nakadai to stop.  

No sound came out.  Instead, Nakadai used the opening to snake his tongue past Ryouga's lips and deepen the bruising kiss.  His free hand wandered downwards, dipping underneath Ryouga's waistband.  Horrified, Ryouga heard himself moan in an unmistakable sound of pleasure.  It gave him the strength to finally push Nakadai away and scramble backwards.

Nakadai climbed to his feet, chuckling.  "That's exactly how I like you, Abared."  Within seconds, he was gone.

But this lonely road has turned 

 Ryouga stared at the ceiling.  The shadows – scarcely distinguishable from the light – crawled almost imperceptibly across the walls, marking the passage of time.  He didn't notice.

A knock sounded at the door, but he didn't – couldn't – answer.  Muffled voices sounded; Mai's and someone else's.  Ryouga listened to whoever it was explain to Mai that she needed to let "Ryou-chan" sleep, that he was very tired.  Mai crept into the room anyway, and he hastily shut his eyes and tried to even out his breathing.

A small hand slipped into his and squeezed it carefully, and then Mai gave him a sloppy little-girl kiss on his cheek.  He pretended not to wake, and she withdrew just as quietly.  He didn't open his eyes after the door closed; if he did, he was afraid the tears pricking the insides of his eyelids would fall.  _Mai… I've failed you.  I'm going to ruin you.  I'm a bad father, a bad friend, a bad Abaranger.  I've betrayed them all by consorting with the enemy._  

Consorting.  That was a nice way of putting it.  Even his own mind stood against him, trying to deceive him.  Eventually, Ryouga slept, plagued by nightmares.

And you faded there 

"Ryouga? You okay?"  

Sanjou almost sounded worried.  He must look really bad, then.  Ryouga smiled, but it wasn't anything close to his normal happy grin.  "Yeah, it… was just a weird fight."

"Weird?" Sanjou looked confused.  While Ryouga had been distracting Abarekiller, Sanjou and Ranru had been disposing of the latest Torinoid.  "Weird how?"

"Nakadai-sensei…" Ryouga trailed off, and rubbed his forehead.  "He…" He couldn't bring himself to say it.  "I wish he wouldn't Change with the Zero suit," he said finally.  "It's dangerous."

"Ryouga?  You all right?"  Ranru reached up with a damp cloth and wiped at the blood on his face.  "He really got you this time, huh?"  Her gaze was sympathetic, and Ryouga felt guilty.  "Yeah," he agreed after a moment.  He didn't have any reason to feel guilty, did he? It wasn't like anything had really happened.  

His lips stung, though, and he shivered.

They pretend to care 

Ryouga stared into his miso soup.  The others were clustered around the breakfast table, chattering happily.  He'd taken a seat against the wall, half-screened by the huge replica of serrated dinosaur teeth.  Every now and then, one of them would glance over at him, as if about to say something, and then look back.  He paid no attention to them.

"Ryou-chan?"  Mai wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him entreatingly.  "Play with us today?"

"I … can't, Mai."  He rested one hand on top of head.  "I'm not feeling well."

He could tell that Mai was disappointed, but she smiled.  "Get well soon, Ryou-chan!"  She squeezed him in an enthusiastic hug.  He couldn't bring himself to hug her back.

"Have… Have a good day at school, Mai."  He couldn't smile, either.

"Come on, Mai!"  Emiri took Mai's hand.  "Bye, guys!"  The door closing behind them sounded almost ominous.

As if by some prearranged signal, Ryunosuke and Mahoro vanished as well. Sanjou exchanged glances with Ranru.  "Ryouga, we need to talk."

"No, we don't."  He brushed past both of them and walked out of the shop.

Vultures waiting 

Ryouga really didn't want to face off against Nakadai again.  The manner in which the other man had assaulted him had shaken him badly, not least because a part of him had enjoyed it, and that same part clamored for more.  Asuka had never been this exciting.  

Ryouga clamped down on that thought and tried to extinguish it as thoroughly as possible, but it wouldn't listen.  _Well, he wasn't._  The thought morphed into a voice.  _Asuka always needed you to take care of him.  You won't have to do that with Nakadai._  Ryouga ruthlessly tuned the voice out.  He didn't have to listen to it.  He had really cared for Asuka, had been devastated when he hadn't been enough for Asuka to go on living.  But he'd done his mourning, and he'd moved on.  It was what Asuka would have wanted for Ryouga, even if he hadn't been able to realize it for himself.

"I knew you'd coming looking for me."

For one brief second, Ryouga thought the little voice in his head had wriggled free again, but he had heard this statement with his ears.  He spun around.  "You!"

Nakadai leaned against a tree, smirking.

If you don't like me, certify me 

Ryouga eventually found himself headed out of the city; he had no idea where he was going, but the farther away he got, the better he felt.  Better wasn't quite the right word, though.  He began to feel numb, and it was a welcome respite from his inner turmoil.  He leaned against the train window and stared at the scenery rolling by.  Buildings, people, power lines… it almost made him sick to look at it.

Clean water, an empty sky… he was suddenly struck by an almost physical longing for the near-total isolation he'd experienced during his survival training in America not so long ago.  _I want to go back._  

Well, why couldn't he?  The obvious answers were his duties as Abared and his responsibility for Mai.  Someone else could use his power, though.  It was lunacy to assume that he was the only person who was able to control it, even if no one else who had heard the voices had shown up on that memorable night.  As for Mai, wasn't she better off without him? He had become corrupted, defiled.  Wouldn't it be better for her to be around those who were still pure?

Yeah, I don't know 

"Isn't it his business if he wants to sulk?" Yukito asked, obviously annoyed.

"But what if something's really wrong?  He's acting really strange," Ranru returned, just as obviously concerned.  

"This is _Ryouga_.  He's fine."  Yukito tugged his uniform shirt down.  "Isn't he going to pick Mai up, anyway?"

Ranru stared at the door, face set in a frown.

Yeah, I won't go 

"Ryou-chan?"  Mai pulled the door open, obviously having a difficult time with the heavy object.  "Ryou-chan?"

"He didn't come to pick you up?"  Ranru rushed forward.

"Then he's not coming back."  Mai was an incredibly observant child, and unlike any of the others, she didn't have an adult intellect to stand in the way of her instinct.  "Ryou-chan's not coming back."  And she began to cry.

Yeah, save it, I'm okay 

It was Mai who found the red Dino Bracelet in the corner of the room she shared with Ryouga.  She also pointed to the red shirt crumpled into a ball in the back of the closet.  "See?"  Her voice wavered only slightly, despite the fresh tearstains on her cheeks.  "He left me behind."

And in the sun a loaded gun 

Ryouga dropped into a fighting stance automatically.  "What are you doing here?"

"So hostile.  You act like I'm going to try to kill you."  Nakadai seemed genuinely amused.  "Really, Abared.  That would be boring."

Ryouga stood up slowly.  "What do you want, then?"

"I want to break you, of course."  Nakadai pushed himself carelessly off the tree and stalked towards Ryouga.  "I want to see you writhe in pain, both physical and mental.  I want to see your face when you realize that everything you believe in has been shattered."  He smiled.  "And you're going to be the one who breaks it all."

"W-what?"  Whatever Ryouga had been expecting out of Nakadai, that hadn't been it.

"You heard me.  We'll start my new game together."  Nakadai reached out a hand, and Ryouga knocked it away.  

"Don't touch me!"  He was already confused, although he refused to acknowledge it.

_Makes for conversation_

"Where do you think you're going?"

For a moment, Ryouga thought that the past day had been a dream, and that he was still lying in bed with Nakadai.  He shook his head.  This was no dream.  "What do you care?" he asked dully.

Nakadai sat down beside him and peered out the window.  "Fascinating scenery."  His voice dripped sarcasm.  He turned to Ryouga, and the sarcasm dropped away.  "I care, because I care about _you_."

Ryouga stared.  "Liar.  You don't care about me at all.  You're just playing some sick game.  I'm not playing any more.  I refuse."  He turned away from Nakadai, staring determinedly out at the scenery flashing past.

"Where are you going to go?"  Nakadai made himself comfortable on the seat, arms crossed over his chest.  His Dino Minder gleamed in the sunlight, a tacit accusation.

"I don't know," Ryouga mumbled before he could stop himself.  He didn't have the immediate resources to go to America, or Canada, or anywhere else outside Japan.

"Well, if you really want to go, I won't stop you."  Ryouga sneaked a look at Nakadai; the man seemed to be completely sincere.  "I'll make you a deal.  I'll let you stay with me until you have the ability to leave, and I won't tell anyone where you are, if that's what you want.  In return, all I ask… is you."

All the while in denial 

Before Ryouga could make any sort of response, Nakadai had Changed into Abarekiller and immobilized him.  "I know why you hate me," he whispered, somehow incredibly intimate despite the faceless barrier.  "I know what it is you hate."

"I don't hate anything," Ryouga managed, cursing inwardly.  Dammit, he'd only wanted to go for a walk to clear his thoughts, and Nakadai had to show up and make a mess of him all over again.  

"Yes, you do," Abarekiller breathed.  He gathered Ryouga into his arms, keeping him pinned so that he was unable to struggle.  Golden light flowed through Ryouga's vision, and when it had cleared, Nakadai was once again staring down at him.  "You hate that you can't change me," he said calmly, as if stating an obvious fact.

"I… what?" Ryouga repeated, still unsure of exactly what Nakadai was getting at.

"You want me," Nakadai clarified, one corner of his mouth turned upwards.  "It's driving you crazy, because at the same time you think I'm a terrible person.  And that thought in itself makes you so guilty, because you want to believe that everyone is good, deep down.  Poor Abared.  It must be so hard for you."  He let go of Ryouga and stepped back.  "You might be able to change me, you know."

"My _name_ is Ryouga."  Ryouga backed away from Nakadai, noticing for the first time that they were no longer outside.  The man was clearly insane.  But… if he could influence him, stop him from using the power, the Zero suit would never explode.

"Ryouga."  Nakadai smiled, looking for all the world as if speaking the name gave him sensual pleasure.  The smile took on a definite predatory cast.

Ryouga hit a wall with his back.  There was nowhere left to go.

It's too late for me to change 

"Me," Ryouga repeated flatly.  "You just want me?"

"I told you, I care about you."  There was nothing in Nakadai's face or manner to suggest that he was in any way insincere, yet Ryouga knew that he was a consummate actor.  "I'm worried about you, Ryouga.  Please, come home."

Ryouga looked at him uncertainly.  "Will you stop using the Dino Minder?"

"If that's what you want."  Nakadai's gaze was unwavering.  "I'll even stop the Evorian from sending monsters here, if it will make you happy."

"You'd do that." 

Nakadai nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Ryouga's.

"For me."

Nakadai nodded again.

"And you won't tell … anyone … where I am."  He still wasn't ready to face the other Abarangers, not after what he'd done.  But if Nakadai really had changed, if Ryouga really had saved the other man, then it would be all right.  Hope flickered to life against the combined forces of reason and experience, and Ryouga nodded.  "All right."

And you were unchained 

"Well, Ryouga?"  Nakadai leaned in, hand resting on the wall just above Ryouga's shoulder.  "Am I right?"

"You're crazy," Ryouga retorted, trying to think of a way out.  If he could Change, he could escape.  Or fight Nakadai.  He didn't want to provoke the other man into Changing, though, not with the chance that the Zero suit would explode.  There had to be another way.  "I just don't want the Zero suit to destroy Tokyo."  It was difficult to think with Nakadai so close.

Most people, when faced with consistent rejection, would not smile.  Nakadai did.  He pressed himself against a now mostly unresisting Ryouga.  "Are you sure?"  His lips hovered just above Ryouga's mouth, nearly touching when he spoke.  "Really sure?"  He'd gotten hold of Ryouga's wrist at some point, the one with the Dino Bracelet, and he stripped the Bracelet off in one practiced movement and threw it aside.  "Think of what you might do with me."

Ryouga closed his eyes.  He was physically attracted to Nakadai, and there wasn't any getting around that.  Psychologically, the man was the only thing Ryouga had ever come close to hating, because he'd nearly destroyed the foundation of the trust Ryouga placed in humanity.  But if there was a chance to bring Nakadai around, to convince him that the power carried responsibility with it, he had to try.  If he could forge some sort of connection with Nakadai, it might be possible.  

Hesitantly, Ryouga raised his arms and placed them around Nakadai, pulling him a fraction of an inch closer, enough to initiate the kiss.

Nothing more had changed 

Nakadai kept his word.  He didn't tell the Abarangers where Ryouga was hiding.  He didn't Change.  Nothing came through the dimensional gate to attack the Earth.  And he asked for nothing that Ryouga was not willing to give.  He was attentive, concerned, and generally acted as if the only agenda he had was Ryouga's wellbeing.

Ryouga kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for Nakadai to unveil his heinous plot and try to break him, but it didn't happen.  And slowly, Ryouga began to believe that Nakadai truly had the best of intentions.

But even so, Ryouga still couldn't go home, not until he was absolutely sure Nakadai was no longer the enemy.  Only then would he know that he was not corrupted, that he was still worthy to be near the others.

Nakadai asked him occasionally if he was ready to see his daughter, but it took Ryouga nearly two months to answer yes. 

I could fake it 

When it was over, Ryouga felt sick.  Nakadai lay next to him, a satisfied little smile playing about his lips.  It was the first time Ryouga had ever seen Nakadai wear an emotion other than arrogant scornfulness.  "That was all right.  You can go now."  Nakadai turned his back on Ryouga.

"I –" Faced with total indifference, Ryouga wasn't sure what to do.

"What?  I said you could go.  If I want you again, I'll tell you."  Nakadai didn't even turn around.

Shamed, Ryouga pulled on his clothing and left.  As he walked painfully down the street, he swore he would never let Nakadai touch him like that again.

If you still hate me, confiscate me 

The "Closed" sign was on the door of the Kyouryuuya as Ryouga approached it, but all the windows were open, and he could hear voices from inside.  Curious and apprehensive, he flattened himself against the wall and inched closer. 

"When is Ryou-chan coming back?"  That was Mai, sounding sad.  Ryouga closed his eyes against the automatic flare of guilt.

"He won't."  Yukito.  And while Ryouga couldn't, in all honesty, blame Yukito for his assertion, it was still painful.  Some sort of sound interrupted Yukito, and the voices became indistinct.  All Ryouga could make out was Mahoro urging Mai to go upstairs to bed, followed by a short silence.  He bit his lip and continued to listen.

"Sanjou!" Ranru, apparently continuing the conversation where it had left off, sounded more as if she were objecting out of a sense of duty than as if she were really contradicting Yukito's statement.  She sighed.  "How long has it been?"

"Over two months."  Yukito sounded bored and irritated, like he usually did.  Ryouga almost smiled; he'd missed the that.  "He's not coming back."

"We're lucky Evorian's been so quie-"  Ranru started.

"We need another Abared," Yukito cut in.  "Luck won't last forever."

"But Ryouga is –"

"Gone."  Ryouga could hear Yukito stand up and walk towards the window, and he hastily moved back.

"I'm worried.  You saw what he was like before he disappeared.  What if –"  Ranru stood up and moved towards Yukito.

"So?" Ryouga could almost see Yukito, and he shrank back.  "Then he should have come to us instead of running away like a coward.  As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't need to come back."

The words slammed into Ryouga, leaving him utterly breathless.  Barely able to remember to move quietly, he staggered away.  Back to the only place he had left to go.

Yeah, I don't know 

"Sanjou!"  Ranru stalked over to her teammate.  "You don't need to say such things!"

"I…"  Yukito looked at the floor.  His head snapped up at a noise from outside the window.  "What was that?"  Ranru pushed him aside and yanked the screen open.  

"I… I don't see anything."  She was more disappointed than such a simple occasion warranted.

"What?" Yukito asked somewhat unwillingly.

"I… thought it was Ryouga."  She smiled sheepishly. "Silly of me, huh?"

Yeah, I won't go 

"I… wish he'd come back, too," Yukito said slowly.  "It's…" He let his voice trail off, not quite sure how to finish the sentence.

"It's not the same around here without him," Ranru finished it for him.  "We'll find him, Sanjou.  We will."

Yukito crossed his arms and leaned his head against the window frame.  "I hope you're right."

Yeah, save it, I'm okay 

Mai lay very still until Mahoro's footsteps faded.  The moonlight washed over her small hands as they reached under her pillow and glinted over the photographs she pulled out.  She smiled at the first one.  She couldn't see it very well in the dark, but she could fill in the blurry lines.  Asuka was looking at the camera, an expression of surprise on his face.  

Mai wasn't angry at Asuka for making her Ryou-chan an Abaranger; she knew that it was something Ryou-chan _needed_ to do.  But she _was_ upset that he hadn't come home, and she was starting to think that he never would.  She smiled at the picture in the dark.  "I hope you're okay, Asuka."  The picture went back under her pillow.

She knew the second picture by heart; she could picture it clearly in her mind whether or not she held it in her hands.  Ryou-chan grinned up at her, looking happy.  It was the only picture she had of him from before the Kyouryuuya, and before Ryou-chan  had become an Abaranger.  She herself was in the picture, on Ryou-chan's shoulder, smiling just as happily as he was.  

"Where are you, Ryou-chan?"

The door opened, and she hastily stuffed the picture under her pillow and lay back down.  She wasn't quick enough, though, and Ranru came inside.  "Mai? What's wrong?"

"Is Ryou-chan in the same place as Asuka?"  She thought Asuka must be happy if he hadn't come back, and maybe her Ryou-chan was happy too, if he was there.  To Mai's surprise, Ranru started to cry.  Grownups didn't cry.  She must have done something very bad.  She climbed out of bed and ran to hug Ranru.  "I'm sorry!  I'm sorry!"

Yeah, I won't play 

Abarekiller stood at the window, watching the road.  Ryouga was making his slow way up towards the house.  Rijewel stood just behind Abarekiller.  "The Demon Lord is getting impatient, Mikoto."

"The game is almost over," Abarekiller assured her.  "Leave before he sees you."

Rijewel's eyes narrowed.  "We've been patient with your game so far, Mikoto, but we don't see that it's producing results."

Yeah, go away 

 "No? Just look at him.  Once I'm finished with him, the Abarangers will be pared down to two." Abarekiller smiled.  "Halfway there."

"You –"

"Get out of here!"  Abarekiller shoved Rijewel towards the door.  "Now!"

She pouted and vanished just as Ryouga walked dazedly through the door, looking as if his world had been completely shattered.

"They … don't want me."

Yeah, save it, I'm okay 

Abarekiller considered for less than a second all told.  A blow delivered now would probably shatter Abared's already weakened psyche.  It was time.

"Neither do I."

Ryouga actually staggered and slid to the floor.  "W-what?"

"You thought I was serious?" Abarekiller smirked.  "It's all a game, Abared.  I thought you knew that."

Paler than the white walls behind him, Ryouga shakily climbed to his feet and backed out the door, not waiting to hear any more.

Nakadai laughed, the mocking sound echoing through the gathering dusk, pursuing Ryouga's fleeing form.

And you were unchained 

Ryouga wasn't sure where he was going, only that it was away from both Nakadai and his former teammates.  All he knew was that there was nowhere left for him to go.  There was no way he could return to the Kyouryuu, and Nakadai…

"How could I…" 

He'd promised himself that he wouldn't let Nakadai touch him, that he would keep his unspoken oath of protection and uphold his responsibility.

And yet, he had let Nakadai take him.  Once he had begun, there was no end.  Nakadai threatened to expose his secret to his teammates, to his daughter, and Ryouga had no choice but to comply, even though each time he went to Nakadai his transgression increased.  Beyond that, something in Nakadai had – as he now saw – erroneously convinced Ryouga that Nakadai really could be changed.  But Ryouga had been unable to reach it, whatever it was, and finally, he had been unable to take it any more.

Even worse, he had abandoned his responsibilities in a misguided fit of self-delusion.  Save Nakadai? Was that worth betraying his friends? How could he make a choice? Wasn't every life worth saving?

Ryouga clutched his head.  "What was I supposed to do?"

There was no answer.

Nothing more had changed 

Without paying attention to where he was going, Ryouga walked.  When he eventually looked up, he found himself in front of a building he had once climbed as if it were a rock wall, only to unintentionally prevent a suicide at the top.  Dodging the security guard, he began to climb the side of the building again.

The motions were soothing, requiring his total concentration if he didn't want to slip and fall.  Under the purely physical effort, his mind seemed to clear and bring itself to a perfectly logical conclusion.

I have nowhere left to go.

He reached the top of the wall and swung his legs over.  Faded blue jeans and a black t-shirt; he didn't look at all like the man who had stood here all those months ago.  That man had been proud and strong; he'd had a purpose.

I have no purpose.

Ryouga stood up, back against the fence.  The building shook gently, as if asking him what he thought he was doing standing on top of it.  It was a familiar enough feeling, but this minor earthquake seemed almost like a sign.

There is no need for me.

He stepped to the edge of the roof and looked over.  It was a long way down.  He prepared to jump, but something held him back.

What do you think you're doing?  The voice sounded almost like Tyranno, but that was impossible.  He wasn't wearing the Dino Bracelet.

I could fake it 

"I'm jumping," he told the voice, quite calmly.

Why? What the hell would you do that for?  It had to be his subconscious or something.  

"Because it's better that way," he replied, not sure why he was arguing.

Better for your daughter if you leave her alone? What kind of a father are you?  It really did sound like Tyranno; he'd always gotten indignant if Ryouga had seemed to slight Mai in the smallest way, even though he never meant to.

"I don't deserve her!" he nearly shouted back at it.  "She's better off without me!"  The building trembled again, as if in agreement with his words.

How can you say that? You're all she has left!

"She's better off without me," he repeated dully. "I'm… I'm not worth anything any more.  She'll figure it out."  He wasn't going stand on the edge of a roof to argue with his subconscious; that was ridiculous.

His subconscious wasn't finished with him.  That's bullshit and you know it.  You're just afraid.

"I'm…" Ryouga didn't have an answer for that.  Was he really so sure?  He shook his head.  If he wasn't sure, then why had he hidden from his friends and teammates for the past two months?  And even if he hadn't done anything wrong before, to let his teammates down the way he had was unforgivable.  He shook his head.  "I failed."

Only if you don't try again.

Ryouga hesitated.  "Tyranno?"  The silence that answered his question was deafening.  "I…"  He looked down.  

If you still hate me, confiscate me 

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that the "earthquakes" had been caused by a newly unleashed Giganoid firing on the city.  This, too, was his fault.  But maybe there was still a chance he could help to stop it.

Ryouga started to take a step, still not sure which direction he intended to go.  Just as his foot left the ground, the building shook a third time, much more violently than before, and Ryouga lost his balance and plummeted downwards.

Yeah, I don't know 

"Ryouga!"  Tyranno's voice was definitely unmistakable.  "Ryougaaaa!"

Yeah, I won't go 

He could see Ptero flying towards him, wings laboring to overtake him before he could hit the ground.

Yeah, save it, I'm okay 

Ryouga reached a hand upwards, not knowing whether it was to ward Ptero off or in a last chance at life.

Yeah, I won't play 

"Ryouga!"  Both Yukito and Ranru were below him.  "Ptero, hurry!" 

Yeah, go away 

He could almost touch Ptero now.

Yeah, save it, I'm okay 

Ryouga felt impact, and the world went black.

_Owari_

* * *

I have no intention of continuing this further; it is left to you to decide how it has ended.  If you've got any theories, let me know.  ^.~


End file.
